Updated: Jul 15
Often we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we lose track of things. We lose track of our keys, shoes, your cell phone, and for the ones of us that have lost more than just these things, we have even lost our minds. For a long time, things in my life were chaotic, to say the least besides losing all the things mentioned above and some more things, I found out the hard way that I lost track of myself. The very person that I thought I knew and had a solid idea of what I wanted out of life I lost her. I looked in the mirror one day and had no clue whom the woman was staring back at me immediately I broke down and started crying (thankfully no one was home) because baby this meltdown was EPIC you hear me EPIC. I was not me, I was not the woman I wanted to be. After I got up I made up my mind that I was going to change this outcome, I no longer wanted to be her I wanted to be the woman that I believed in I knew she was in there somewhere and I had to find her. Have you ever felt like this at all in life? Have you ever honestly asked yourself who I am? Well, don't do it because the outcome could scare you. I started doing Yoga and meditating I started back walking/running and doing things that I liked to do. One day I grab a painted canvas and some cheap paint and I said I was going to paint.
Now disclaimer before we go ANY further. I am NOT an artist my sister is the artist, she went to college and got a degree in damn Crayola crayons and colored pencils, YEA I SAID IT!!!!! A private expensive college and she gets a degree to draw. ( I may still be a Lil salty) But now she is an art teacher for kids grades k-5, and just about daily she has these hilarious stories about the kids. I am proud of her. Ms. E( That's what her students call her.) Leave a comment saying " Hey Ms. E " down below.
But getting back to it I started reading self-help books and seeking counseling and I was still wondering why I had not found this woman, it had been years that I spent looking for her, and yet she was nowhere to be found. I started doubting myself, even more, I had let go of the process, cursed those that made me feel like I had found her all the while my life was still a hot mess. I asked God" Was I that bad of a person that I would run away from MYSELF. Like God, I didn't even think that was possible. I remember crying and thinking "I can't do this", this is not working I am so lost that I don't even like myself. After doing some deeper soul searching I realized that I had not let go of my past I was still holding onto the things, the
people, the enemies, from my past. I was still holding myself accountable for my mistakes and the mistakes of everyone else. It was like a light went off on the inside and when I say I started letting things and people go, so fast I had to catch myself when I let someone go I was physically ready to say "Goodbye" to. I was holding myself back, I was my captor and now I was running free. Now this did not happen in one day it took time and it still is a work in process but sometimes we need to see or be reminded that Good comes first in
Goodbye, most often there is a much better world on the other side, and every time you have the option to choose your path. Who said take the road less traveled? NAH!!!! NOT ME, I'm walking on the sidewalks where the light is. This journey we're o
n takes time and no one is perfect, but when you find yourself wondering what happened, and where did you go, when you look in the mirror and still see no one, just know that she is there, she is just watching your back.
Q.O.T.P. - Quote of the post
"Stand up straight and realize who you are, that you tower over your circumstances."